How stupid is it to get in a state over clearing a studio? I’ve spent days in my lampwork studio sorting through what I have; I’ve had some enquiries about buying my kit even before I get to listing it. As shelves got cleared, pots of frit got put together, everything divided into its piles, it felt like clearing out a much loved relative’s home when they’ve moved on, or moving out of your once-loved home. I’ve had 4 days (over a couple of weeks) and by yesterday I was feeling pretty rough about it all.

Oh get on with it you wimp, I hear you cry.

It didn’t help that next door’s over-friendly cat, Hugo (also called Huge-O, he’s the one ‘who ate all the pies’) who normally passes through for a quick hello has taken to sitting on my garden table and staring in at me, just like my darling Teddy did, sitting on a chair outside my other studio, just like Ted, sitting on the garden bench and waiting, just like Ted, then over taking me up the garden path asking to be let in (no chance, Charlie hates him) just like Ted :'(  Oh, and sabotaging anything he thinks might be important (he pushed a flower pot onto the path to get my attention), just like Ted :'(  Ted was my watchman, when he went, so did a part of me.

British Blue cat

So, I asked a few impartial friends in a group I belong to ‘what should I do?  Am I being silly?’ after all, I had it in my mind, sell up and move on.  The general consensus was ‘wait a bit, the time isn’t right.  You’ll feel better when the weather improves and it’s less like a dull grey day’.  Husband came home late, tired from a long day in various meetings; he got asked the same question and gave much the same answer.  It boils down to my loving to make beads but the market is over-saturated with people who under-price their beads and buyers who under-value our work and, more importantly, what are the chances of the hefty drugs I am now on getting my energy levels to a workable level and controlling my rheumatoid arthritis to a point where I can manage anything fiddly again.  Or the weather and my mood improving and I get on with the plan as planned.

So, Plan C (plan B is on hold for several reasons, not least it is expensive to start up, be certified, not really 100% sure of my market and the funds from lampwork were paying for Plan B to go ahead) is I will sell off tools I rarely use, glass and frits I won’t use and see where that leads in the meantime.  It’s a half-way house, as husband put it at 11pm, you’ve still tools you can use but freed up some capital that might allow other options to happen.  If nothing else, I know what the contents of my studio cost me – it’s a bit eye-wateringly expensive!

And in the meantime, Charlie cat calls me some pretty awful names when I come in from seeing ‘the other cat’ in my life, well, I can’t not stroke him and make a fuss of him, he’s out most of the day when no one is in next door (although I believe there are a lot of us soft old dears in the street who feel he is alone in the world apart from us).

For those who were looking to buy my kit, it might still happen but not today. I’ll have a think about it when the sun shines; may be I’ll see things in a different light.